I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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