Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
