Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm really busy with my period
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