On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
A+ Viking dick
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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