after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
