And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
