My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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