Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
