Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
