he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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