We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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