ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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