You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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