i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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