MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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