omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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