Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize