My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
