my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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