Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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