Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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