I look better un-naked...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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