We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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