I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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