Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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