The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
