Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
