What did we do last night that was yellow?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
