Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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