two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
