The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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