there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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