i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
