oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
