That's when you crack a 10am beer
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
