Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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