And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
