Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
