im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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