But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
