I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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