There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
