Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
