used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
