my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm jealous of your bromance
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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