Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
