If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
