It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
