I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
