I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize