I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
