erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
