We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
