In America we eat man semen.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
