I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
