well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
