She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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