we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
