Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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