i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
