I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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