I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
