I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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