That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
