Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize