STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
