He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he thought i was a dude.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
