In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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