i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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