My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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