STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
