Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
