so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
