haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize