I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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