I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
