I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think I sprained my soul last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
