I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
