She's JV to your varsity
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
