We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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