At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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