You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
