Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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