I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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